


bang bang (i shot you down)

by akosmia



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Laser Tag, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, well a little bit of plot maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 09:54:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14399634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akosmia/pseuds/akosmia
Summary: "Listen, I know it may sound weird, but," he started, eyes darting out to her. His cheeks were red, and he bit his lips, before continuing. "Would you like to grab a drink with me?"She should have said no. Every respectable young woman with an ounce of self-preservation would have said no, because he was Kylo Ren and he was bad news, and no matter how hard she was crushing on him and how nice it had been grinding down on his thigh and hear him groan against her throat, it wasn't for the best."Of course," she replied.





	bang bang (i shot you down)

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this instead of studying because i have no self control and i hate myself *finger guns*
> 
> also, apparently i am a verbose mess even when i try to write porn, so, yeah, it's 14k words because i have no control over anything, ever.

Before Poe asked her that night, Rey had never once in her life played laser tag, and now she couldn't phantom why, since it involved being able to shoot at Hux with all she had got like she had wanted to do for at least eight months and watch his terrified expression as he, quite literally, ran for his life.  
  
She wasn't actually sure why they were playing with the First Order in the first place ("Because they have a better office, and more money, and they are assholes, so we have to beat the shit out of them," Poe had said, in the attempt of talking her into beating said shit out of them - a really futile attempt, really, because Rey was, at any point in time, always down to beat the shit out of the First Order), but she was determined to enjoy the experience while it lasted, especially after watching Hux almost trip on his own feet and smash his face into the arena floor while he tried to run away from her.  
  
She was already on the verge of running after him  - because nothing in her life gave her as much joy as mock and torment that pathetic, ginger, annoying excuse of a machine that posed as a pile of trash of a human being -, when something coming from the corner of the wall behind which she was hiding herself hit her, and slammed her into said wall, hard.  
  
"What the fuck," she murmured, bringing a hand to her head, massaging it slowly. It felt like - well, like something had just slammed her into the wall, and it took a moment for her to open her eyes - which she hadn't even realized she had closed -, and slowly blink in the towering frame in front of her, still pressing her into the wall. It took her another moment to realize who it was. "Jesus Christ, Kylo, you scared me".  
  
Kylo Ren pressed his lips together, looking down at her, and while the arena was poorly illuminated, with only neon, sci-fi inspired red lights hovering above them, Rey could almost see the corners of his lips quirk up for a brief moment. His breath was labored, as if he had run a marathon. "Sorry," he said, his hands braced against the wall behind her, and his body still pressed against hers. She could _feel_ his chest raise and fall, quickly. It was not entirely unpleasant, Rey thought, as surprise slowly made her way into her hazed brain, and she wondered if she had ever been this close to Kylo. Probably not, and, even if she knew all too well this wasn't a wise choice, she let herself being swept away by the sensation. Foolish, really - even more so, if she considered he had just jumped at her from the corner, almost giving her a concussion. "I was running from your friend. Brunette, short, kind of looks like she's ready for war? She's scary".  
  
Rey blinked a few times, observing Kylo's face and wondering if this was some kind of joke or some sort of plot to eliminate her from the game. When he didn't break into a fit of laughter - which, in retrospective, seemed a very little Kylo thing to do - or tell her he was obviously messing with her or shoot her with the laser blaster strapped to his thigh, Rey raised an eyebrow. "Rose? You're afraid of _Rose_?" she asked, noticing the way he knitted his brows, staring at her in confusion. "Excuse me, have you forgotten how tall are you?"  
  
At that, Kylo did laugh. It was not really a laugh, to be honest - he never laughed or giggled or anything that could pass for a vague sign of amusement. He just exhaled, deeply, and Rey, having knowing him for months, detected it as his way to show he was, indeed, amused by the situation. She didn't let herself indulge in the strangeness of all of it - of being able to read him so well, despite knowing almost nothing about him -, but she let her mind drift through countless memories of Kylo, perched up against the railing of the rooftop, all but quirking up his lips into brief, meaningful smiles.  
  
"Yeah, well," he said, and, even in the darkness of the arena, Rey could see the faint pink hue coloring his cheeks. He brought a hand at the base of his neck, as he always did when he was embarrassed, bracing himself only on one arm. This gave her an opening - a possibility of moving away from him, but she didn't. The pressure of his body against hers was grounding, and almost all too pleasant. She knew she had to move, and forget about it, but she stayed instead. "She's determined. And determination trumps height any time of the day, I learned that from you," he added, and his lips did curve upwards, in that half smile that looked almost pained on his face. "You know, before everything".  
  
Rey bit her lips as she felt her cheeks turn red too. It almost seemed a long, long time ago, before they had found some sort of truce. She had been an asshole, and he had too, and their screaming matches had turned the whole building into a mess of hysterical laughter and blank stares. Poe had actually threatened her to shut her and Kylo into a closet, until they tore each other apart or "fucked each other senseless", his words, not hers.  
  
But then, things had changed, somehow, when they had started spending their lunch breaks on the rooftop together. At first, obviously, they had tried to push each other off the railings, but then - somehow something had shifted, and now there was a sort of comfortable companionship as they talked their lunch break away, their sides almost touching but not quite. She had got used to his presence as she never got used to anything else, and one time, when she had forgotten to bring lunch, Kylo had actually shared his sandwich with her, telling her he wasn't that hungry. Rey had heard his stomach growl, but she had smiled up at him and had taken the food he was offering anyway.  
  
And - it wasn't probably the best idea, being so comfortable next to Kylo Fucking Ren, she knew that, but she also knew that his eyes would spark up when he teased her, and that his shoulder would shake in the most entrancing way when he was trying to stifle an unexpected laughter, and that she was hopelessly drawn to him in that pathetic, sad way only a love starved girl could be. She tried not to think about it, and she repeated herself over and over again that Kylo was part of the First Order and, by association, automatically an asshole, and it wasn't a wise choice, crushing on him like the ridiculous schoolgirl she was being but - it never worked.  
  
"Oh," she said, pretty stupidly to be honest, but she felt his eyes on her and she didn't quite know how else to respond. He was still so dauntingly close, and she felt her self-assurance disappear under his gaze, which was never a good thing. "I suppose I was a bit of an asshole," she added, because, well, that was true.  
  
At that, Kylo exhaled again, his breath ghosting over the skin of her face as he lowered himself to look her in the eyes. God, why wasn't he moving? And why, most importantly, wasn't she shoving him away, but, instead, was almost arching into his touch? Stupid, stupid, Rey. "Well, I was too," he replied, quietly,  his eyes almost soft in the faint red light. That was surely the most surprising thing about him - that someone so intense and fierce as Kylo Ren could turn almost soft in her presence. "Let's just say we weren't exactly the most agreeable people on the planet".  
  
This had her chuckling, remembering the way they screamed at each other. "Well," she said, meeting his gaze as a playful smile made its way into her face, teasing and amused. Kylo looked down at her with glittering eyes, almost as if she was some sort of miracle he had the privilege to witness. It made her shiver, and dizzy, as she tried not to think about it. "At least I'm not that short, so it's not utterly ridiculous for you to be afraid of me".  
  
Kylo chuckled  
  
It was surprising and almost earth-shattering in its simplicity, and Rey stared up at him with eyes full of wonder as she took in the way his lips curved upwards, and his shoulder shook, and his eyes squinted, leaving a web of little wrinkles at their corners. It was - beautiful, and her heart jumped in her throat at the sight.  
  
"Trust me, it's not ridiculous to be afraid of Rose," he replied, meeting her eyes. His body was still so close to hers, and she wished he could press her even more into the wall, coming closer, closer, _closer_. His presence was almost intoxicating.  "That woman is a war machine. Hux is probably hiding in a corner, waiting for this to be over. And to think he was claiming victory before stepping into the arena".  
  
She smirked, thinking about the way Hux was cowering away from her just a few minutes ago, and enjoying the equally pleased smile on Kylo's face. Their mutual distaste for Hux had been one of the first thing they had discovered they had in common, back in the tentative days of their rocky sort-of-friendship.  
  
"So," she started, teasingly, arching her body just slightly, because, well, if Kylo wasn't going to press her into the wall and kiss her senseless (she was not thinking about his plush, full lips against her, she was not), well, she might as well try to enjoy herself. In an arena full of shooting people and blaster fire, but she couldn't be choosy about it. She almost felt his breath hitch, but she wasn't sure about that. "Aren't you going to shoot me?" she asked, nodding in the direction of his blaster, still hanging at his side. Hers was somewhere on the ground, dropped when Kylo slammed her against the wall, so, really, she had no way to defend herself.  
  
Kylo seemed confused, his brows knit together again almost as if he was focusing on a complicated task. In the dim light of the arena, his face looked intense and sharp as always, but his eyes were almost too soft - a stark contrast that always made her dizzy. "No," he replied, looking down at her as surprise slowly made its way into his face. "I mean, I took you by surprise, it wouldn't be fair".  
  
She raised her eyebrows, staring at him with a blank expression. "That's the whole point of laser tag, Kylo" she told him, because, apparently  he seemed to not quite get what they were doing there, except fooling around against a wall, and not in the way her body and mind asked to.  
  
He blushed again, his pale skin now turning red under her eyes. Rey had seen him redden a lot of times before - in rage, and in embarrassment, but there was something almost gentle in the way he was all but avoiding her gaze now. He was Kylo Ren, mighty and terrifying, but he let her see him as he truly was, blushing and hesitant, and Rey didn't know what to make of it. "Yeah, but," he tried to say, as he braced against the wall on his two hands again. His body stepped a little bit closer, and Rey's breath hitched in her throat, and her mouth went dry. "I jumped at you and you couldn't even defend yourself and that's not fair. If I had to fight you, I'd want you to fight back. You always do".  
  
Rey was too surprised to reply - his body was too close, his lips too full, his voice too low, and the world was suddenly spinning, making her shiver against him. He had always been intense but there was heat in his eyes as he looked down on her, and there was the hint of a mischievous smile right at the corner of his lips and Rey's brain contemplated shutting down for good.  
  
"And besides," he added, the little smile turning into a grimace - one she had seen many times on his lips. "I don't want us to win".  
  
At that, Rey finally found herself able to speak. "What?" that was the only thing she could say, as her brain tried to process everything. She had to admit it had not been her finest moment, but Kylo didn't seem to mind, as his lips quirked up again into a small smile. "Then what the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"I can't stand Hux," he replied, and well, as wonderful was to hear him say that, it wasn't quite a breaking news for her. No one could stand Hux - Rey suspected not even Hux could stand himself. The world itself probably rejected the idea of Hux existing in the first place. "And I'd really appreciate if you could erase that fucking smug smirk from his pasty face for once, so I can watch his will to live slowly fade away from his eyes as he realizes he's been beaten by a band of misfits," he seemed to think about it for a moment, pressing his lips together, before speaking again. "His words, not mine, obviously. I think you're cool".  
  
Rey laughed.  
  
It was not the soft chuckle she often let past her lips when she was with Kylo, or the breathy exhale he seemed so familiar with - it was a laughter, honest and genuine, bubbling in her throat and escaping her lips before she could realize. Her shoulders shook against the wall, and she threw her head back, her body shivering against Kylo's, and when she caught his eyes, he was staring at her like he had just witnessed something incredible.   
  
"What?" she asked, when her laughter had calmed down, but with a smile on her lips all the same. It felt impossible not to smile - Kylo was looking at her with such a softness in his eyes, and his lips were parted and there was a genuine surprise mixed with awe on his face, and Rey's mind was spinning furiously, and the whole world had stopped existing.  
  
He pressed his lips together, before speaking. "I had never seen you laugh before". As always, there was something fierce and raw in his words, and it didn't take her by surprise, but it made her stomach twist in a pleasant way as she met his gaze. Kylo had always been chaotic and intense, and his words felt almost like weapons, honesty and rawness dripping from his lips. It never failed to make her dizzy, and even now she felt her heart skip a few beats, as he looked down at her, eyes glittering against the darkness of the arena.  
  
Rey didn't reply, she wouldn't have known what to say to that. Instead, she did the most logical thing her hazed mind could think of: she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.  
  
It was not a wise decision, and she knew all too well how utterly stupid she was being, but then Kylo gasped against her lips, and he pressed his body into hers again, effectively pinning her to the wall, and all rational thoughts were quickly forgotten. She tangled her hands into his hair, finally sinking her fingers into those thick strands, and he let out a moan on her mouth as she pulled them, tentatively.  
  
God, the sounds he was making were _indecent_ , and Rey drank them all, shivering against him, arching in his touch as she bit down on his bottom lip, sweeping her tongue across it. Kylo was almost a whimpering mess under her mouth, and his hand trailed up to her face, fingers winding in her hair, his thumb pressing lightly on her throat.

Her mind was spinning, and no matter how hard she tried to remember he was Kylo Ren, working for the First Order, certified asshole - she couldn't help the little moans that escaped her lips as he started trailing kisses down her neck, nipping at the underside of her jaw in a way that was making her see stars. How in the world was he so good at this? How could he know her better than she knew herself, finding the spots that made her melt against him? He was being unfair. "Kylo, please" she said, pathetically, hands venturing down his back, fingers digging into his shoulders, her body arching almost of its own accord against his, asking for something, asking for _more_. It was pathetic, being so worked up and already begging just from one kiss, but Rey wasn't exactly in her right mind to complain about it.

She expected him to mock her, to tease her, to be Kylo about it - but instead, he just groaned against her skin, a sound that travelled through her body and made her almost (almost, because she had still some sort of dignity. More or less.) cry out, and then he slid his thigh between hers, moving it a little bit to find the right angle, and, _oh_.

This time, she did cry out.

She was being ridiculous - grinding down on Kylo Ren's thigh while he softly bit her skin, in a public place, surrounded by her friends and by her fucking enemies, but she was all but going to bring this to a stop. She had waited months for Kylo to kiss her senseless, she wasn't going to stop him now. Instead, she pulled at his hair, forcing him to raise his eyes.

He looked wrecked. God, his lips were red and swollen, and left all kind of thoughts into Rey's mind, and his eyes were hungry and haunting, and her stomach twisted again as her hips rocked against his thigh. She pulled him down for another kiss, and she could feel his breath on her lips, and the faint breeze of his eyelashes against her cheeks, before they were startled by an high pitched sound.

Kylo jumped back, breaking away from her, and while she did miss his presence in her space, she let out a sigh, knowing it was for the best. They were in public, for God's sake.

The high pitched sound repeated itself, and Rey frowned, trying to decode it. "That doesn't sound like a scream Rose would make," she said, turning into the direction of that sound, even if Kylo was still pinning her to the wall (and his thigh was still between her own, God, was he trying to kill her?).

He let out the usual breathy exhale that stood for a laughter, and that made her body shiver. "You're right. It's Hux," he replied, a smirk making its way into his face. Before she had a chance to let those words sink into her mind, they heard approaching footsteps, and he pressed her into the wall even more, dwarfing her with his body and making her arch into him, instinctively. Rey blushed, glad he was not actually looking at her. "Careful, they're coming this way" he added, as a justification, as his body hid her from sight.

It was almost kind, in his own weird, intense, Kylo way.

His towering frame hid her from being spotted, but Rey could still see the scene in front of her, and she had to stifle a laughter against his (very nice, very strong, very "I want to know how being picked up by it feels like") arm, because that was just - ridiculous. Kylo was right: it was Hux, and he was running for his life as always (apparently, that was his default laser tag strategy), followed by a very angry, very determined Rose, ready to beat the shit out of him, indeed.

They both ran away without looking around, and when they were out of sight, Kylo slightly moved away, giving her a chance to breathe. Rey tried her best to prevent herself from whining, pathetically, at the loss of contact. "See?" he said, raising his eyebrows at her, the hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. His lips were still very red, and Rey wanted to kiss them again and again and- "I was right to be scared of Rose".

She chuckled again, as her hands found their way into his hair. The strands were as soft to touch as she imagined them to be, and she couldn't help but wrap them around her fingers, as he sighed against her. He didn't move or tell her to stop, so she didn't. "So," she started, a teasing smile on her face. Kylo looked positively enthralled by her, his eyes watching her every movement. _Don't be stupid about it_ , she told herself, but it was very hard not to. "You want us to beat Hux?"

His lips quirked up for a moment, eyes shining with mischief. "Terribly".

She tugged at his hair with one hand, pulling him down again and dragging her lips across his cheek, while her other hand trailed down. She felt him shiver against her, and then she was gripping his blaster, still secured to his right thigh, and she was pointing it at his chest plate.

"Bang bang, darling," she said, firing it. "You're dead".

 

*

They did end up beating the shit out of the First Order. After all, with Kylo out of the game, and Rose chasing down Hux as a woman on a mission, Rey, Finn and Poe had taken less than a minute to blissfully take down Mitaka (Rey felt sorry for him, he looked so scared and nervous she asked herself if he was even aware he wasn't going to be killed for real), and then they had proceeded to hunt Phasma down.

To her credit, she did put up a fight. She was strong and determined, and Rey respected that, even if she thought she was an asshole too, but there were three of them and only one of her, and the whole game ended there, with Phasma's resigned grimace as she let the blaster fall out of her hands.

"Beat the shit out of them, indeed," Rey murmured, giving Poe an high five.

 

*

 

After returning blaster and plates, and celebrating with Finn, Poe and Rose, telling them they should do that more often ("Only if I get to smash Hux's face everytime" Rose had replied, quietly, and no one had had the nerve to contradict her), Rey found herself right outside the arena, in the chill air of the evening, ready to walk home.

"Hey," a deep, familiar voice startled her, and before she had a chance to say anything, she felt the usual and welcome presence of Kylo towering right next to her, as she turned to face him. She was probably red, but she pretended not to notice, and Kylo was gracious enough not to point it out - maybe because he was just as red. "That was, uhm, very nice. I mean, the fact that you won. Congratulation, I guess?"

"Thanks," she replied, smirking. "Watching Hux getting beaten was very nice, indeed".

"Yeah, that was, as they say, fucking awesome".

He was staring down at her with his lips curved into his usual half smile, but it didn't look so pained right now, and she ached to press it against her mouth, to know what that felt like. She couldn't erase the thought of his body pinning her to the wall, of his mouth against hers, of the moans she had felt against her tongue, of his groan against her skin. God, she _wanted_ him.

Kylo brought her back to reality by nervously running a hand through his hair, and shifting from one foot to another, an unfamiliar, but entrancing sight. "Listen, I know it may sound weird, but," he started, eyes darting out to her. His cheeks were red, and he bit his lips, before continuing. "Would you like to grab a drink with me?"

She should have said no. Every respectable young woman with an ounce of self-preservation would have said no, because he was Kylo Ren and he was bad news, and no matter how hard she was crushing on him and how nice it had been grinding down on his thigh and hear him groan against her throat, it wasn't for the best.

"Of course," she replied.

 

*

 

The bar was crowded and packed, but Kylo's presence drowned out all other sounds for her as they silently slid into a booth in the back, holding the beers he had insisted on paying (because, as he had put it, "I invited you, and that's, like, a rule", and Rey was too caught up in the way he was quirking up his mouth to find a suitable answer, because, as always when Kylo Ren was involved, she was fucking pathetic).

It was weird, seeing him like that - their encounters had always been confined to their offices building, and to the rooftop, but there was something nice in the way he stared at her, under the dim light of the bar, and his eyes were soft, as he gulped down a sip of his beer.

And he looked all too attractive in his stupid leather jacket, she decided as she brought the bottle of beer to her lips.

"So, does it happen often?" she asked, biting down on her lips and watching him raise his eyes, silently asking her what she was talking about. _You, slamming people against a wall and then kissing them like they have never been kissed before_ , she wanted to say, but she kept that thought to herself, because she was not going to make a fool of herself in front of Kylo Ren, no matter how nice he looked or how soft his eyes were. "You, being willing to sacrifice yourself in order to annoy Hux?"

Kylo exhaled again, and something in Rey went utterly soft at the sight, because there was no amount of denial that could erase the fact that it was very nice to be there with him, and watch his terrifying demeanor crumble down to nothing in her presence. She wondered, for a moment, what Kylo thought of her - if he liked her even a little bit the way she liked him. She tried to bury that thought, because she wasn't _that_ desperate.

"I'd do that every day if I could," he replied, and the corners of his mouth curved upwards, in that smirk she was so familiar with. He absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair, lost in thought, as the smirk slowly turned into a wide grin that she had never seen on his face. It was pleasant, and it made her own lips curve in a smile. "God, his _face_ when he realized he had lost. I'm not a religious person, but I think that's what Heaven must look like".

Rey chuckled, before taking another sip of her beer, never taking her eyes off of him. "He deserved it. He's an asshole".

Kylo exhaled again, and his shoulder shook as he pressed his lips together, almost as if he was trying really hard not to laugh. "Cheers to that," he said, bringing the bottle to his mouth. To his full, beautiful mouth, made for kissing and other things that Rey shouldn't be thinking about in public.

She tried to focus on the present, and not on the countless fantasies spinning through her head at the moment. "No, really. He's an asshole. They all are," she stated, as he raised his eyebrows again. "Why do you even work for them?"

Kylo stared at her, long enough to make her regret her question, and his eyes were almost too serious for someone who had spent a good minute trying not to burst into laughter just a moment ago. Then, his pained half smile was back on his face, and his fingers drummed casually against the bottle he was holding in his hands. "That's a long story, full of family drama and tragedy on the side. Trust me, you don't want to hear that," and, before she had a chance to tell him she did want to hear that, because, pathetically as it sounded, she wanted to get to know him, he continued. "But I'm going to quit, I think".

That made her mouth go dry.

"Oh," she said, stupidly. She thought about lunch breaks on the rooftops, and secretive smiles, and how he knew exactly how to make her mad but also how to calm her and make her quiet. She thought it would be going on forever. She had already forgotten that Kylo hadn't been there her whole life, but just for a year, since the First Order had moved its office into the building where she worked. She felt her stomach twist in a way that wasn't pleasant at all, but she tried to conceal it, and put a smile on her face. "Well, good for you then. You deserve better".

It was true anyway. He did deserve better than weasel-faced Hux.

He stared at her again, and his eyes were almost burning, in their intensity, even as he tried to smile. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't be so sure, but thanks, I guess," he said, and Rey knitted her brows in confusion, looking at the man in front of her and not quite sure to understand him. Before she could say something, he smirked again, and he propped his head on his hand. "So, you don't think I'm an asshole?"

Rey laughed, and raised her eyebrows at him, a smirk breaking on her face too as she brought the bottle to her lips, under his burning gaze. "Oh no, I do think you are an asshole," she said, taking a sip of her beer, and then smirking again when Kylo stared at her with a confused, almost offended face. As if she hadn't spent the whole first month of their acquaintanceship telling him just that. "But you're like, a lower level asshole. A redeemable asshole, to put it that way. While the others, well, they're just insufferable dicks," she furrowed her brow for a moment, before speaking again. "Well, except for Mitaka. I do feel sorry for him".

Surprisingly, Kylo chuckled. It was as brief and simple as it had been in the arena, but there was something undeniably beautiful in the way the soft sound escaped his lips, almost as if he could do nothing to hide his amusement. He never let himself so loose in front of anyone else, at least not that Rey had noticed. He was - something.

"Poor Mitaka. I think he's one nervous breakdown away from going on a rampage and kill us all with a pencil," he replied, with a grin on his face, and it was so uncharacteristic but so wonderful that Rey had to blink a few times to assure herself she was not, in fact, dreaming. God, he was really beautiful like this. She tried not to think about it, she really tried, but it was so hard, when he was looking at her with a smile on his face and stars in his eyes. She couldn't really blame herself if she thought about grabbing him by his stupid leather jacket and pull him into a kiss right there over the table, could she? "Then, if you think I'm an asshole, why are you here with me?"

He was teasing her, Rey knew that. She thought about his mouth on her throat, the way he had kissed the spot right where her jaw met her neck, effectively making her melt into him, and she thought - well, she could tease him too. It was stupid, and foolish, but she was still high on the sensation from his kiss, and she had always been reckless and impulsive, and he was really, really attractive, so, really. What did anyone expect from her?

"Because," she said, the corner of her mouth curving upwards while she let a finger run over the half empty bottle of beer she was still holding in her hands. "Maybe I have a thing for redeemable assholes who make groping at each other like teenagers in a laser tag arena look like the most erotic and thrilling thing in the world".

That worked.

He choked on his beer and his cheek turned red while he tried to breathe again and recover from it. Rey could almost see the hint of a reddened hear peaking between his thick hair and that made her stomach twist again, in a way that she wasn't able to define anymore.

"Fuck, Rey," he murmured, taking his face into his hands, but staring at her between his fingers  - a gesture that had her almost surprised, because it was so genuine and sweet. She didn't expect it from Kylo Ren, but, after all, he had always been surprising.

She smiled, bringing the bottle of beer to her mouth, making a show out of it, because if she was going to do this, it was a matter of going big or going home at this point. "What?" she asked, innocently, batting her eyelashes at him.

He groaned, just like he had done in the arena, and the sound made her shiver and God, did she want to climb in his lap and kiss him senseless (and maybe do other things. She was open to the possibilities), until the world stopped making sense for good. "You make me want to take you home with me," he said, lowering his hands and giving her a small smile. His words were blunt and raw as always, but his eyes were, albeit burning, almost soft. This man was a contradiction, and he pulled her in like nothing had ever done.

"Then ask me," she replied, quietly. At his questioning glance, she smiled, tilting her head to the side, staring at him. "Ask me to come home with you".

It was stupid, utterly stupid, she knew that. But she also knew that nobody had ever looked at her the way he was looking at her right now, hungry and gentle at the same time, like he truly wanted her and everything she came with, and fuck everything else. She knew that maybe it was wishful thinking, but for a moment she let herself think that maybe Kylo did like her the way she liked him.

He gave her a small, self-deprecating smile. "Why? So you can laugh at my face?"

Before she could talk herself out of it, she stretched out her hand and placed her on top of his, lightly stroking the back of it with her fingertips. He shivered in her touch, and stared at her like he was trying to solve a riddle written all over her face, in her freckles. "No," she told him, smiling. "So I can say yes".

 

*

 

Kylo didn't give her an apartment tour. She had barely the time to register a big open space and clean, sharp furniture, before he was slamming her against the nearest wall, _again_ , cradling her head in the process this time, because he was Kylo Ren, and unexpected acts of kindness were sort of his signature.

His lips were on hers before she could realize, and Rey gasped against his mouth as his free hand found its way around her hip, pulling her closer. She felt her whole body curve around him almost on instinct, melting into him as he pressed her even more firmly against the wall, as if he couldn't get enough of her, and her hands sank into his hair, wrapping around the soft, black strands as she kissed him, as hungry and desperate as he was.

"God, I've been thinking about this the whole night," he murmured, on her lips, as he slowly made his way down her jaw, nibbling at it, and making her throw her head back, against his hand, moaning and whimpering as his teeth grazed her skin. He was going to _kill_ her. "God, Rey, you have no idea".

She had a pretty good idea, actually. She had been thinking about this for at least six months, thank you very much, and she definitely had a solid grasp of what indulging into this fantasy meant, but she said nothing of that because he was starting to trail kisses down her neck, lightly sucking on her skin, and she could do nothing except for letting out a keening sound. It should have been pathetic, really, being so pliant and desperate from a kiss for the second time that night, but apparently, when Kylo was involved, all the rules were thrown out the window and she turned into a moaning mess under his lips.

"And what," she tried to say, throwing her head back and giving him better access to her throat. Kylo hummed approvingly against her skin, as his lips found her pulse point, teeth grazing her soft flesh. Rey's eyes fluttered shut, and her body arched into him, the hand on her hip gripping her so hard she could almost feel the bruise blooming underneath his fingers. Instead of scaring her or making her reconsider this whole thing, it made her shiver with anticipation. "What were you thinking about?" she asked, as her hands tugged at his hair to bring him closer.

Kylo groaned against her skin, again, and the sound travelled straight to her core, making her roll her hips against him. " _You_ ," he replied, simply, his voice so low and deep it made her shiver all over again and twist her stomach in an all too pleasant way. "I always think about you, Rey".

Her mind was already hazed from everything, and it took her a moment to truly grasp his words. When she did, she tugged at his hair again, this time urging him to look her in his eyes. Surprisingly, he complied, and he stared at her with such an open, earnest expression on his beautiful, sharp face - he was looking at her with stars in his eyes, as if she was something miraculous, and it made her gasp. No one had ever looked at her like that, and she didn't know what to do with it.

Before she could say something stupid, she pulled him into a kiss, devouring his lips as she had wanted to do for months, letting his words sink into her fuzzy mind. He wanted her. He thought about her. She couldn't wrap her mind around the idea of being _wanted_ , but she decided that as long as he kissed her like that, she didn't care at all.

Her hands travelled down, from his hair to his shoulders and chest, fingertips following the lines of his muscles, tracing patterns along his clothed skin, making him shiver in her touch, and then she was pushing that stupid, attractive leather jacket off his shoulder, because as much as she liked it (she liked it very much, really, for all she cared Kylo could walk around in that leather jacket and nothing else, permanently), she needed to feel more of him under her hands, to realize he was real and not a fantasy.

He obeyed her, again, without complaining, and pulled away just enough to get the garment off, letting it fall to the floor, and then his hands were back on her, working the buttons of her jacket, trying to free her of it. It felt like they could not get enough of each other, and Rey quickly helped him getting rid of her jacket and let it slide off her shoulder in a swift move, as he kissed her, almost like a starved man.

"Do you think of me?" she asked, on his mouth, as she caught his bottom lip between her teeth, and lightly bit down on it. Kylo moaned, bracing himself on his hands against the wall, and pressing his body into hers. She could feel him harden against her, and it made her dizzy. He wanted her. God, she could not really believe that, but she wasn't going to complain. "Do you think of me, when you're in your lonely, fancy apartment?" she punctuated, dragging her lips across his cheek, and then trailing down his neck.

He shivered against her, letting out such an entrancing, beautiful moan as she gently nipped at soft flesh of his throat. "It's not fancy," he replied, because, of course, he was Kylo Ren, and apparently contradicting her had always been a thing for him. Surprisingly, Rey didn't mind - it felt right, she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. She liked him for him, as absurd as it sounded.

Kissing a bruise on his skin, Rey chuckled, and Kylo whimpered, his head almost lulling toward her shoulder, as if he couldn't even stand straight. He was so responsive, she noticed, and she liked it. She liked it all too much. "It is fancy, Kylo," she pointed out, trailing up, teeth grazing at his skin. She worked a bruise right on the underside of his jaw, and he let his head fall on her shoulder, his hands still braced against the wall. "Do you think of bringing me here, in your fancy apartment, and have your way with me on every piece of your fancy furniture?"

At that, Kylo groaned against her shoulder, and turned his head just enough to place a kiss right at the base of her neck. "Of course you are a talker, of course" he muttered, as he trailed up with his lips, showering her skin in kisses. His voice was deep and ragged, and his hands came to brush against the hem of her top, fingers dipping beneath it to touch her skin. Rey gasped and gripped his arms for support, even if she didn't think she could even fall over, since he was pressing her so intently against the wall.

She helped him remove her top too, and she stood there, against the wall, only in her bra, and her jeans. She rarely felt insecure of her own body - she never had the privilege to worry about it, growing up -, but this was Kylo, and something in her mind told her it was important that he found her attractive. She raised her eyes, meeting his, and she tried to smile, fighting off the urge to cover herself like an insecure teenager, but he was staring down at her with parted lips and wide eyes, wonder written all over his face, as if he was contemplating something spectacular. Rey didn't blush often, but that look on his face made her cheek turn red, and she felt hot and shivering at the same time, not sure how to react. He looked mesmerized, as if she was something _beautiful_.

"Well," she tried to say, to break the silence, as his eyes bore into her soul in the most peculiar way. She felt dizzy and electrical, something buzzing right beneath her skin. "What about your thoughts of me? Do you think of taking me there by the do-"

She was interrupted by his lips, and she let out a gasp against his mouth as he kissed her again, his hands coming to rest at her hips, pulling her closer against his body. Instinctively, she rocked against him, and he moaned, pulling away and breathing heavily on her mouth. There was a smirk on his beautiful, kissable lips. "Do you always talk this much?"

She smiled, as her hands found their way around his neck, fingers digging lightly into his muscled shoulders. He was firm and solid against her and she couldn't stop her fingers from dipping just beneath the collar of his t-shirt, marveling at the beauty of his taut skin under her. "I could say you should make me shut up, but we both know I'd find a way to talk all the same".

And then, Kylo _laughed_. It was not his usual breathy exhale, or even the short chuckle she'd heard twice that evening - it was a real laughter, pure and earnest and raw, rumbling through his body like a thunder. She felt his shoulders shake underneath her fingertips, and his eyes wrinkled in a way that she had no words to describe, except for _beautiful_.

"What?" she asked, stroking his back with her fingers, scaling the ladder of his spine beneath his shirt. His skin was smooth to touch, and she dug her fingers into the muscles of his shoulder, keeping him close.

When he calmed down, he looked at her through his eyelashes, and the smile on his lips was genuine and intense, softening his sharp features and his burning gaze. "Nothing," he whispered, and then he lowered himself to press a kiss right to her naked shoulder. "It's just. _You_ ".

He dragged his mouth across her skin, right to her collarbone, nipping at it in the same way he had done to her neck, leaving a trail of lovebites behind. Rey tried to focus on his words, but it was very difficult when he was trailing down and sucking a bruise right against her breast. "Was that an oddly-phrased insult? Because I truly don't know what that meant".

He laughed again, and then shook his head against her skin, resting his forehead right on her chest, breathing in. It was such an intimate gesture, and she couldn't fight the impulse to bring a hand into his hair, carding her fingers through those strands, brushing against his scalp. He sighed, contently. "It was not an insult," he replied, quietly, as he pressed a kiss on the outline of her breast. "It's just. You're very special, Rey".

She looked down at him, and she really didn't know how to respond to that. What could she ever say to him? _Thank you, it means a lot to me?_ Luckily, it didn't seem he was waiting for an answer, and he mouthed her breast through her lacy bra, teeth scraping against the fabric, adding a layer of friction that made her shiver. Her hips rolled almost of their own accord, and Kylo growled against her, the reverberation of it travelling straight to her core.

One of his hand came to knead her breast into his large palm, and Rey threw her head back, gripping his hair and pulling him close to her, while her other hand tugged at his shirt. "Off," she said, imperiously, and Kylo huffed a laugh against her, but complied all the same, almost tearing the shirt off of him with haste, still lowered so his face was pressed right against her chest.

She didn't have the time to stare at him at all, beautiful and wonderful and cut from marble as he was, because then he lowered himself again and brought his mouth on her hardened nipple, grazing at it through the lacy fabric of her bra, making her moan and arch her body into his touch. He sucked down on it, and then gently let his teeth scrape the bud, and Rey was a whimpering mess underneath him, rolling her hips and fisting his hair, desperate and starved just because he was touching her.

"Kylo," she whimpered, as his mouth travelled to her other breast, giving it the same treatment. Her back arched off the wall as his lips closed around her nipple, and he had to bring his hands to her hips to make her stop trashing around. Had it been another moment, she would have been embarrassed about it, but right now she didn't care, and she tugged at his hair again, making him moan. "Kylo, please, please".

She didn't even know what she was begging him for, but he seemed to reach a decision. With a last kiss to the outline of her breast, Kylo pulled away and stared up at her, with a little smile on his face. It wasn't a smirk, or the usual half pained smile - it was small, and sincere, and it made her heart skip a few beats, cliché as it sounded. "I've got you," he said, softly, and then his lips travelled lower, to her stomach, pressing open-mouthed kiss on his wake. "I've got you, sweetheart, I've got you".

And then, he dropped to his knees.

Rey's mind stopped working for a solid minute, before she could process the fact that he was kneeling in front of her, and his hands were on her thighs, gently spreading them, and his eyes were staring up at her, nervous and soft and hungry at the same time. It was almost too much for her.

"Is this okay?" he asked, tracing patters with his thumbs along her clothed thighs. He looked young and insecure, and vulnerable as she had never seen him, and before she could realize what she was doing, Rey brought a hand on his head, carding again her fingers through his hair and brushing off a strand from his forehead with tenderness. Kylo's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and he hummed, leaning into her touch. It surprised her more than the whole kneeling thing, and she smiled at him.

"Yes," she whispered, in the end, and his eyes were open again, and staring again with such a softness in them Rey suddenly felt very small. "Please, Kylo".

He pressed a kiss to her stomach, again, and smiled. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, Rey," he murmured against her skin, as his hands reached for the button of her jeans and fumbled with the zip. "I promise, I'm gonna take care of you". He was almost incoherent now, as he helped her out of her pants, throwing the piece of clothing on the ground, but she hardly minded, because he was there, between her thighs, and he was removing her underwear, murmuring sweet nothings on her skin, and to hell with coherence.

"Please," she whimpered, as she finally stood naked in front of him. She stared down at him beneath her eyelashes, already panting from the anticipation, and Kylo smiled, bringing his hands on her thighs again, spreading them.

"It's alright, sweetheart" he said, and, before she could even thinking about replying, he placed a kiss right on the inside of her thigh. His mouth was hot, and the sensation of his lips against the soft, burning flesh there made her shiver and roll her hips, a moan escaping her lips. She heard him chuckle against her skin, but she couldn't even make sense of all of it - and he hadn't even touched her. God, she was desperate.

He didn't seem to mind, as he nibbled at her thigh, leaving a trail of lovebites that would turn into violet bruise in the morning - the thought made her whimper and roll her hips again, throwing her head back -, and then he finally reached her center, closing his lips around her clit and sucking on it. Rey let out a keening sounds she wasn't even aware she could make, and Kylo stared at her, his lips on her and his eyes dark and blown.

It should have been obscene, like this - but he was oddly beautiful, his sharp face turned soft, and his eyes hungry for her, and the moles on his face looked like constellation in the darkness of the room. She brought both of her hands into his hair, stroking his scalp with her nails and tugging at the strands to pull him closer to her, rolling her hips against his face. He seemed to understand, because he went back to work and - _oh_.

He licked a long strip along her folds, and the world stopped turning for a whole moment, the sensation so intense and new and earth-shattering in her stomach that she threw her head back into the wall with a slamming sound. Kylo looked up again, worried, but she nudged him back to her, pulling his hair, and he complied with a humming sound that made her shiver. His hands were on her thighs, fingers digging lightly into her skin, and he used them as a leverage to pull closer, deeper, as he tentatively delved into her, his tongue exploring her slowly and thoroughly, making her writhe against him. His nose nuzzled against her clit, and she let out a moan, fisting his hair.

It was too much - the pressure of his fingers on her thighs, his mouth on her, his tongue dragging her out, his nose pressed against her clit. Rey had never felt that way before, like her whole body was a never-ending waterfall of sensations, her nerves tingling, her skin burning, her mind shattering. She felt her eyes sting, and she closed them, biting down on her lips to stifle her whimpering. Kylo was licking her with concentration, letting her small sounds guide him, and when his fingers trailed down her thigh, leaving goosebumps and making her shiver, to curve around her knees and pull her leg over his shoulder, Rey cried out, gripping his hair almost as if she was afraid of falling down.

"Kylo," she murmured, over and over again, and he hummed against her, he fucking _hummed_ , and the vibration made her arch her back and roll her hips against his face. She felt like she could explode right under his hands, and it was maddening and terrible and she didn't know what to do except for calling his name and gripping his hair, his shoulders, clinging to him as if the whole world was shaking beneath her feet. "Please, Kylo, please".

He pulled away just slightly, and Rey whined, a high-pitched sound that she never knew she had in her. Kylo rubbed her thigh, soothingly. "Sssh, relax, sweetheart, I've got you," he said, and, before she realized, his index was circling her entrance. She let out another moan, and he slid it in, so easily. She would have felt ashamed, but she couldn't even feel enough of her brain to remember what ashamed _meant_. "It's alright, Rey".

The way he was saying her name made her arch even more against him, and then he was sliding another finger, slowly pumping them, crooking them, dragging them against her walls. It was too much for one person to feel this good - she couldn't take it, she couldn't, she was already sobbing and whimpering, and then his lips closed again around her clit and-

"That's it, Rey," he murmured against her, as his tongue flicked against her bundle. His voice was deep and low, and his breath was hot against her flushed skin, and the pressure in her lower abdomen was on the point of breaking her, and it was too much, no one could ever feel this good. "Let go, sweetheart, it's alright".

He flicked his tongue against her clit again, and she cried out as she came, gripping his hair and throwing her head back, her whole body convulsing and trembling against him. She felt, somewhere in the back of her mind, his fingers slowly pull out of her, while his other hand caressed her thigh, in a sweet, kind gesture, and she knew there were tears on her face, but all of this seemed so far away from where she was now. Her whole mind felt foggy and hazed, and she realized Kylo was calling her only because he tightened the grip on her thigh.

"Hey," he said, as she slowly came back to reality. There was a smile on his face, and wonder in his eyes, as if she had just performed some incredible task, and Rey felt other tears stream down her face because it was still too much and she didn't know how to handle it. He gently pulled her leg off his shoulder, but kept supporting her with his hands as he slowly raised to his feet again. Rey wasn't sure she had legs at all, and she gripped his shoulders in support. "Looks like we have finally found a way to shut you- Shit, are you crying? Are you okay?"

God, she was _crying_. What kind of person cries during sex? She shook her head and quickly wiped the tears off her face, but he caught her, cupping her face into his hand, and made her turn into his direction. His eyes were studying her, and there was worry on his face, his beautiful smile turned into a nervous expression. "Shit, Rey, did I do something wrong?" he asked, smoothing her hair under his hands, oh so gently. She shook her head again, not sure how to speak, and he was being so gentle, so caring, she didn't even know how to let that sink into her mind. "Did I hurt you? Shit, shit I'm so sorry, I- fuck, Rey. I'm so sorry, I just wanted to make you feel good".

He tried to move and pull away from her, but she grabbed his arm and she finally found her lips again. "No, no," she said, quickly, as her hand ran up and down the muscles of his arm. Kylo was staring at her, concerned and terrified, and he wiped her tears with his thumb, and God, why was he being so gentle? "It felt so _good_ , I just-" she took a deep breath, trying to flash him a smile. He smiled too, hesitantly. "It never felt like that. No one had ever done that to me and I didn't know it could-" she sniffed, pathetically.

"Feel good?" he finished, with a little smile on his lips. His eyes were staring right into her soul, and she felt her body shiver against him, despite her better judgment. She nodded, silently. "Oh, Rey".

And then, he was gathering her in his arms, and she found herself with her face pressed against his chest as he soothingly ran his hand up and down her spine, fingers counting every knot, every rib, every indentation on her skin. "You deserve to feel good," he said into her hair, his mouth on her forehead, as his hands drew small patterns over her naked back. She pressed a kiss to his chest, and he sighed against her. "You are beautiful and wonderful and you deserve to be worshipped like that. Okay?"

His words were soft and kind, and his lips were gentle on her forehead as they placed a kiss. She nodded, not trusting her voice. She let herself feel it - his arms enveloping her, his hand tracing her spine, his lips against her skin, his kind words. There was something unexpected in him - something gentle and loving in the way he was reassuring her, and Rey didn't know what to do with it. She never had someone to be so kind to her, but she gripped him and pressed kisses along his chest, on his collarbones, trying to let him know that she was grateful.

She heard him chuckle, and then he was pulling away and lowering just enough so he could kiss her again. The kiss was not as hungry as the ones before, but it was deep and it sparked something in her as she brought her hands into his hair, pulling him closer. "I swear," he murmured against her mouth, biting down on her bottom lip. "I'm going to make you feel so good, Rey, you will forget it has never felt this way. I promise. Just tell me what you want, sweetheart".

What did she want? Him, and everything he was willing to give her - his kindness and his bitterness, his softness and his anger, and everything in between. "I want," she said, eyes fluttering shut as he lavished her neck with kisses. "I want you to make me come again. With your mouth," and then, because she felt him shiver against her, she added, " _Please_ ".

He raised his head, and there was a smile on his lips as his hands found their way around her hips. "A goddess should never beg," he whispered, and before she realized what was happening, he had picked her up as if she weighted nothing and he was walking her to what she presumed it was his bedroom.

"God, Kylo, it is _fancy_ " she said, as he deposited her on his bed, and he stifled a laugh against her hair. "You've got a king size bed. Who the hell has that?".

He laughed, deeply and freely, and it warmed her heart. It felt almost natural, and Rey let herself being swept away by the sensation as he unhooked her bra, throwing it on the floor, and then pressed her into the mattress, gently. He was placing kisses on her chest, her stomach, following the dip of her hipbones, teeth scraping her skin. "God, Rey," he whispered, almost reverently, as he knelt again between her thighs. He pulled her towards the edge of the bed, his hands resting on her legs. "You are so beautiful".

For the countless time that night, she didn't know what to say, so she let her head fall back on the bed as he stroked her thighs, in a soothing manner. His gentleness, his little smiles, the way he had looked at her and brushed off the tears from her face - it was all so much to grasp, but she tried to wrap her mind around that, letting his kindness and tenderness wash over her. Maybe, just maybe, even if he didn't like her the way she liked him, Kylo cared about her.

The second time, he worked her slowly, taking his time and building her up. He lavished her thighs in kisses, dragging his lips across the lovebites he had left there earlier, and kissing them, fervently, as if he was worshipping her. Rey felt her mind drift to his words, when he had said she deserved to be worshipped, and she shivered against him, rocking her hips and sinking again her hands into his hair, not tugging at it, but wrapping her fingers around the black strands.

"Kylo," she whispered, as her eyes fluttered shut. He was not even touching her, but she was sensitive and his lips, pressed against the bruise he had so diligently left earlier, were hot and it was all too much, again. Could she really be blamed if all she could do at the moment was rock her hips and call his name?

Suddenly, Kylo pulled away. She whined, too caught in it to be embarrassed about it, but he was already climbing up on the bed, hovering above her, running a hand up and down her side in gentle movements. "Ben," he murmured, placing a kiss to her stomach. Rey shifted a little bit to stare at him, raising an eyebrow in a silent question - she wasn't exactly in her right mind to follow his train of thoughts, she barely had any mind at all. He smiled, as his hand curved around her hips, pulling her into him. "That's my real name. Ben. I wish you called me that," he added, as he pressed a trail of kisses from her stomach to her hipbone.

Rey's heart was hammering in her chest, and she slowly brought a hand to his hair, brushing it away from his face. "Ben," she said, softly, tasting the name on her tongue. His real name. As if she meant something to him. "Okay," she said, simply, smiling down at him. It felt strangely more intimate than everything else had happened that night.

Kylo - no, not Kylo, Ben smiled against her skin, and pressed another kiss on her hipbone, before moving down, kneeling in front of the bed and settling again between her legs. It felt different, now. He was staring up at her with stars in his eyes, and a soft smile on his lips, and when he lowered himself enough to lick a long stripe along her center, Rey almost felt like he was truly worshipping her. She didn't know what to do with that thought, so she kept her hands into his hair, letting him set the pace.

It was slow. Tortuously slow. He took his time, exploring her with steady movements, his lips closing around her clit but never applying the pressure she needed. His hands were on her thighs, keeping them apart, and his fingers drew pattern along her skin, making her shiver and whimper in his touch. It was different from earlier - the tension in her abdomen was growing steadily, and Ben - "Ben, Ben, _Ben_ ," she repeated, over and over again, letting out his name along her moans - was building her up so tenderly, so thoroughly, never keeping his tongue out of her but dragging her out, as if he wanted her to savor each moment.

It was too much, but not nearly enough. "Please," she whimpered, as he nuzzled his nose against her clit, sending a jolt through her body. "Ben, please, _please_ ".  She knew her voice was small and broken, but she didn't mind anymore. Ben chuckled against her - good God, he chuckled - and she threw her arm over her eyes, rocking her hips against him, unable to keep still. It was almost as if something was going to break her, and she gripped his hair, pulling him into her.

Ben took mercy on her, and brought his hand down, finally thumbing her clit while his tongue delved deep into her, and it was enough for her to finally break. Her body seemed to explode right under his ministration, and she whimpered as her orgasm clawed its way through her, leaving her spent and limp on his bed. Her vision was almost dark at the edges, as Ben worked her through it, and then she had to tug at his hair again to make him stop, because it was too much, too much, too much. She was on the verge of crying again, and she really didn't want to.

He seemed to understand, because he pulled away immediately, and slowly climbed up on the bed, lying next to her. "It's alright, sweetheart," he murmured, as he stretched out his arm to pull her closer, as she trembled from the intensity. Rey hummed, rolling over so she could bury her head into his chest, almost instinctively, and Ben laughed, as his hand slowly started to run up and down her spine, the soothing gesture she had learned to know in the span of a few hours. "Feel good?" he asked, pressing a kiss right on her forehead.

Rey hummed again. "Yeah, definitely," she replied, soft and pliant and all too comfortable like this. She knew that all of this was a mistake - or, at least, she supposed she would have known once her brain could function again -, but he was there, fingertips tracing her spine and lips leaving kisses on her skin, and he had asked her to call him by his real name, and right now, it didn't really feel like a mistake. It felt - good. "I'm sorry about, well, earlier. I don't know what took over me".

She felt him smile by the way his lips curved against her forehead, and then he was pulling her away, gently, to look in her eyes. His hand came to cup her face again, smoothing the skin under his thumb. "You don't have to apologize, Rey," he whispered. His eyes were soft, and his lips were curved in a smile, but in his words and in his voice there was the usual intensity he carried around, like a static, magnetic energy that made her skin tingle. "You deserve to feel good".

He leaned in, and then he was kissing her, slowly, gently, and her insides were doing funny things as she ran her hand over his frame. She explored the muscles of his shoulder, and then the marvel of his strong arm, and the freckled expanse of his chest, venturing lower, as he sighed in the kiss - the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.

Her hand stopped around the hem of his jeans. "You're hard," she said, against his lips, pretty stupidly. In her hazed state, thinking about her tears and her pleasure, she had almost forgotten he was into that just as much as she was. She felt guilty about it. Maybe reassuring a crying, whimpering girl was not exactly how he had imagined this thing to go.

Ben laughed, leaning in and resting his head on her shoulder, kissing the skin there. "Thanks for noticing," he muttered, but there was no bitterness or annoyance in his words. He was just - laughing, his body shaking against hers, so beautiful and simple and natural. Rey had already forgotten she had never heard him laugh before. "Of course I am, Rey. Have you seen yourself? How could I not be hard?"

Her fingers went automatically to the button of his jeans, as her mind tried to process his words, and found itself unable do to so. If her brain were a computer, right now it would have given her the blue screen of death. She pressed a kiss right to his chest, deciding it was a thought she could elaborate on later. "Let me do something," she whispered, her nimble fingers working open the zip of his jeans. "Let me take care of you, Ben" she added, as she started pulling down his pants.

He groaned against her shoulder, and she felt his teeth graze her skin as he bit down on it, gently. His hand reached for hers, his fingers curving along her wrist. Rey realized with a jolt that his hand was so big it wrapped her tiny wrist completely. "As appealing as it sound, and believe me, it sounds really appealing," he murmured, still resting his head against her. "I really, really want to fuck you senseless, and I can't do that if you touch me".

At that, Rey laughed, throwing her head back. "You're so considerate," she replied, between giggles, and he shifted a little bit, raising his head to look at her with a smile on his face. She had never seen that smile before - small, almost shy and hesitant, as if he was afraid of taking a step into her direction. Out of instinct, she leaned in, tasting that smile on her lips.

He sighed against her mouth. "I've wanted to do this for so long, I want it to be good," he replied, simply, and then he pulled away, staring at her. His eyes were soft and burning at the same time, and there was a sort of nervousness around him, like a wave of electricity washing over his body. He sighed, before speaking again, and Rey furrowed her brow, confused. "Go out with me".

The words hung in the air for a whole minute, and then Rey was left blinking and gaping and staring at him as if she couldn't really understand him, and maybe she really couldn't, because what the hell had just happened? "What?"

Ben curved his hand around her hip, his fingers lazily tracing patterns along her skin as he stared at her with the same intensity she was so used to. "Go out with me. On a date," he repeated, and then his lips curved into a little self-deprecating smile she had seen a lot of times before, almost as if he was bracing himself for a rejection. "Only if you want to, I mean. I know I'm not exactly what you would define a catch. And I swear, I'm gonna give everything you want right now, so you don't have to say yes just because of this. I just-"

She shut him up with a kiss, bringing her hand into his hair to pull him even closer, as if she couldn't get enough of him, ever, and he melted against her. Rey could feel the tension leave his body as he slowly relaxed into her touch, kissing her as nothing else mattered, throwing his arm around her waist to keep her close to him. "Yes," she whispered on his mouth, pulling away just enough to stare at him with a smile on her face. He was staring back with the same smile, blushing and grinning like a fool, and he was so, so beautiful Rey couldn't focus on anything else. "Just, no laser tag, please".

He laughed against her mouth as he reclaimed her lips, and then he was pressing her into the mattress, his body following hers almost as if they were tied by a string, bracing himself on his hands as he settled between her legs. Rey gasped on his lips as his length, still covered by his pants and underwear, brushed against her center, and she tightened her grip on his hair, making him moan.

"Now," she whispered, experimentally rocking her hips beneath him. Ben moaned again, and bucked into her, almost crushing her under his weight as he dropped on his forearm. "About that fucking me senseless thing," she added, as her hand travelled down from his hair, tracing patterns along his back with her fingertips, and finally reaching the hem of his jeans, trying to pull them down. She had already unbuttoned them before, so they slid easily along his legs, Ben kicking them away as soon as they reached his feet. "Was that just showing off?"

He was laughing against her shoulder, kissing the bruise he had left when he had sunk his teeth in her skin. Rey shivered, and found out she didn't mind so much. "Shut up," he replied, raising his head just enough to pull her into another kiss as her fingers played with the waistband of his boxers.

"I feel like I should say something like, _make me_ so you can kiss me and we can finally give in to passion, but I think we're already past that stage now," she said, on his mouth, as she finally pulled his underwear down to take him into her hand. Ben let out a surprised little gasp against her lips as she curved her fingers along his shaft, and Rey smiled, noticing with a jolt how tiny her hand looked around him. She had never felt small, but right now, under his unfamiliar but pleasant weight, she realized how petite she was compared to him.

It sent shivers down her spine, her body tense with anticipation, as she started to move her hand.

"Fuck, Rey," he was murmuring, breaking away from her lips, out of breath. He let his head fall on her shoulder again, leaving open-mouthed kiss that turned into breathy gasps when she quickened the pace, letting her thumb brush over the head. "Fuck, I like you so much, you are so perfect I- _fuck_ ," he was rambling now, his hips rocking into her hand, his legs intertwined with hers, his hands on either side of her head, and it felt - intimate, and real, and for the first time that night (and in her life) Rey truly believed someone could like her.

She tangled her free hand into his hair, pushing the soft strands away from his face so she could press a kiss to his temple, as he panted on her shoulder. " _Please_ ," he whispered, his voice broken and cracked, so different from his usual confident tone that Rey had learned to recognize in a building full of people. It was like Kylo Ren had disappeared, crumbling down in front of her, leaving only Ben behind, and she suspected she liked him as much as she had liked that smug, self-assured, unexpectedly kind asshole that Kylo Ren had been. "Need you, please".

She ran her hand over his spine, up and down, as he had done with her to reassure her, and Ben whimpered against her shoulder, so pliant and vulnerable in her arms. "Sssh, it's alright," she whispered, and then she stopped moving her hand up and down on his cock only to line him up at her entrance. "Okay?" she asked, nuzzling his head.

Ben gasped and she almost felt him nod against her, but then, abruptly, he raised his head and pulled away from her, bracing himself on his hands again, staring at her with a blush on his cheeks and his eyebrows knit together. Rey almost found him cute, in his own, puzzling way. "I don't have a condom," he said, looking almost mortified, an expression that she had never seen on his face. "I mean, I didn't expect things to go this way".

"Oh, right," Rey felt a laugh escape her lips, unable to help herself, and her free hand started running up and down his back, fingers drawing circles against his skin. "I'm on the pill, and I'm clean, so, if you're clean ..." she replied, biting her lips and staring up at him. "You don't have to if you don't want-"

"I want to," he said, almost instantly, nodding in an eager way that made her heart skip a few beats. She was being a cliché about it, but she couldn't help herself at all. "Yeah, I mean, I'm clean too. Are you sure?"

In response, she smiled and guided him into her, slowly, her eyes fluttering shut as his head brushed against her entrance, sending jolts of electricity through her body.

He lowered himself enough to kiss her as he started to push inside her, and Rey gripped his shoulders, fingers digging into his muscles and blunt nails leaving a mark on his skin as he thrust into her, so slowly, making her gasp against his lips and writhe under him. "Ben," she murmured on his mouth, eyes screwed shut as he trailed kisses down her jaw, nibbling at it and making her shiver. " _Please_ ".

She felt his smirk against her neck as he slowly sank into her, inch by tortuous inch, dragging her out. She knew he was giving her time to adjust around him, but she wanted this - she wanted him, more than she had ever wanted anything, and she whimpered, pathetically, wrapping her legs around his waist in hope to get him closer, deeper. "Patience, sweetheart," he whispered, his voice broken and low at the same time, a rumble shaking her to her core and making her whimper again as her hands found their way to his hair and started tugging at the strands. "I want this to be good," he added, and that arrogant smirk disappeared as she turned her head into his direction.

Her vision was blurry, but she could make out his face, against the darkness of his room, and he was staring at her as if the sun rose and set with her and for her, so intently, and she couldn't help the little moan that escaped her lips as he thrust into her again. "It _is_ good, Ben," she told him, and then, before he could stop her, she took advantage of the surprise of the moment to roll them over, straddling him. "It's so good, I can't believe how good you feel," she added, finally sinking down on him, burying him deep inside her. His hands shot almost automatically to her hips, gripping them, as he let out a groan, letting his head fall down on the bed.

Oh, the stretch, the feeling of him filling her, the way her walls seemed to flutter around him as if she was made for this, his hands at her hips, his awestruck expression as she bottomed out against him and the intimacy of all of - it was all too much, and she felt on the verge of crying again when he started to rock her against him, his arms lifting her and letting her sink again without a strain. " _Ben_ ," she cried out, her hands scrambling for purchase on his chest, as she tentatively moved her hips in synch with him.

He seemed to have forgotten all about talking - all he could do was pant and moan and stare at her, eyes big and soft and burning at the same time, intensity dripping from his gaze, and grip her hips, leaving a trail of bruise scattered along her lithe frame. He was beautiful like this - disheveled and broken, his sharp feature scrunched up in pleasure, his eyes never leaving her, staring at her like she was a whole universe, his skin covered in lovebites. Rey had always thought him attractive, somehow, even when they used to spend most of the times screaming at each other, but now she could see the beauty lying underneath it, almost a secret, dark halo visible to her eyes only.

"Rey," he whispered, rocking his hips into hers, gripping her as if his whole life depended on it. She lowered enough so she could kiss him, all quick and breathy, teeth clashing against each other, messy and desperate.

"You're beautiful," she blurted out, breaking away, because, well, she had known she would have made this awkward since he had first slid his leg between hers and she had cried out as they made out in a public place, so really, this wasn't a surprise. But Ben laughed, and his deep laugh reverberated through her as he shivered underneath her.

"Yeah, you can talk," he replied, and his laughter turned into a moan, his face twisting in pleasure, as she quickened her pace, almost snapping her hips now. "God, Rey, I'd wanted to fuck you since _forever_ ," he groaned, his hands reaching for her face, fingers tangling into her hair and tugging at it to bring her closer.

A whimper escaped her lips. "Then do it," she muttered in his ear, her voice low and broken as his, too lost in it to be ashamed about it. " _Please_ ".

Apparently, that did for him. With a sudden movement and a groan, he rolled them over and he quickly started thrusting into her, his hands curving around her thighs and bringing them around his hips as he pounded into her. Every movement sent shiver down her spine, and the now familiar pressure in her lower abdomen was growing again, threatening to split her into a million pieces as she gripped his shoulders, digging her nails into his skin.

Her movements became erratic, and Ben's hand trailed up, from her thigh to her hip, oh so slowly, almost as if he was counting every freckle and every birthmark in its wake, and then his fingers finally came to flick against her clit, thumbing it, circling it, making her vision white out and her world spin furiously. She wasn't even aware of the sounds she was making anymore - all she could feel were his fingers and his length and his presence above her, enveloping her, towering over her, encompassing her, and his lips closing around her nipple, sucking on it, his whispered words along her skin as he mouthed her breast. "That's it, sweetheart," he was saying, and she followed his voice like a trail of light, guiding her on the way home. "That's it, you're so perfect, you feel so good".

He was groaning and grunting and panting, his hips snapping against hers, and it should have been obscene and messy, but he made it almost lovingly as he pressed open-mouthed kiss to every inch of skin he could reach, almost as if he was trying to connect all the freckles on her body. "Ben," she gasped, as his teeth came to graze at her nipple again. She arched her body into his, the tension coming to a point it was almost too much to bear. "I'm-"

His movements quickened even more, and his thumb furiously worked her clit, but it was his voice that undid her completely. "Please, Rey," he murmured, against her chest, whispering her name almost as a secret prayer, and she let out a keening sound and her body went taut as she came, her whole world shattering around her, vision blurry and legs quivering around him as he still thrust into her, desperate and erratic. Her hand was shaking, but she tried her best to reach for him, carding her fingers through his hair and brushing the strands from his face as he chased down his orgasm.

Her thumb brushed over his cheek and she smiled at him, limp and sated and _happy_ and Ben crashed his lips against her in a bruising kiss as he came, stifling his cry against her mouth and gripping her hips so hard it almost hurt, but not quite.

After, his muscles seemed to give in, because he sank into the mattress next to her, careful not to crush her, and closed his eyes as he pulled her closer, still joined, legs intertwined as he tried to catch his breath. Rey rested her head against his chest, her own eyes fluttering shut from the intensity of all of it, and she felt his lips place small, feather-like kisses on her cheek as he rested his hand at the small of her back, showering her skin with praises and _thank you_ s.

"So," he murmured, once his breathing was back to normal, breaking away just slightly so he could look her in the eyes. His expression was playful, and his eyebrows were raised, and he looked beautiful, all flushed and glowing. His eyes were soft, and his full lips - the one she had fantasized about for months - were curved in his usual half-smile that didn't look pained at all, now. "Next time we play laser tag, can I be on your team?"

Rey laughed and pulled him into a kiss.

 


End file.
